Moving stones

This weekend our coach forwarded a message that one of my teammates mothers wrote. It is beautiful. I am always curious about what a mother's take is on living with a disease that they know may or may not make their life shorter here on earth. I never got to have these conversations with my own mother, and I do not know how she felt about her disease, she simply lived with it and lived life day to day. I am grateful to have found the Leukemia Society when I did, for it still allows me to live and run and swim amongst others who have lived the nghtmare. As my mothers five year anniversary of her death approaches on Monday I take the time to honor her battle, her life, and her death. She was a gift that many had the opportunity to share, and I am sure she is still giving to others in her fun, vivacious and caring way.

Here is the letter from another strong mom.

To the triathlon participants:

I can't say thanks in enough languages to what you have challenged your bodies to do for the cause you've chosen. I wish that I would have had special aim or cause when I walked the 14 marathons in my past.

Now, here I am in Kidney Dialysis (side effect of Chemo) and cataracts (side effect of prednisone). Being diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome in 2004 has changed my life. As a public school food service director, I used to have 25 employees to check on daily. Now confined to a wheelchair and learning to walk against the counter in my kitchen makes my journey so different.

My bone marrow transplant in March of 2005 has given me a new look on life. I can't make 15 loaves of bread daily in my off time or be on the school board or teach employees how to perfect the bread or cookies we sold. There is nothing more humbling than to give up a style of life that didn't need other people's help. Wow, what a change! I was used to delegating jobs to smoothly make breakfast and lunch for 2000 kids a day. Now I'm asking people to help me out of a chair, do my wash, my grocery shopping and some of my meals too! These are stones!

There are so many people who are moving the stones in my path. I now believe that God places people where and when you need them. My husband is my Guardian Angel on Earth. My 4 children have learned and matured in a way no mother wants to see. My faith, trust, and belief tells me I am wrong. This is a path that is challenging for our family.

Now that I've done my bragging and complaining about my life, what about you? Each of you has taken the time, energy and responsibility to do a triathlon for a disease you don't have. What a mission! Who is taking care of your path? Does your family move the stones for you? Friends? People at work? My heart goes out to everyone of you. I wish I could be there kicking stones out of your paths. Stone moving is only for heroes. And all of you are heroes. But remember, when someone offers to move a stone in your path, let them because it is a rush for them as they do it and you both become heroes to each other.

As Katie (my daughter) reads/writes this note, please remember how much your personal mission of raising all this research money has moved a huge boulder off my path. If any of you are ever traveling through Wisconsin, please stop in Kaukauna where my new path has drawn me to opening a Cafe and Art Shop. We serve my passionate bread, coffee, sandwiches, soup, salads. And we sell art. Art and Food to nourish the Body and Soul. Our intention is to listen to each other's stories and help move stones.

As you ride, swim, and run tell yourself that stones make you not only stronger, but wiser in the journey of life. You can count on that. I am living proof of that. Thank you for health! And thank God for every stone and stone mover in my life.

-Beep, aka The Mother.

Pictures from the big day

Me and the girls from TNT Heather and I trying to look poised

Ever so gracefully exiting the swim,

COMPLETELY disoriented.

Off for the bike course! Below, thanking the lord that the ride is OVER!

Coming in from the run.

DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heather and I at the finish with our medals.


SMOOCH!!!!!!!

Done and Done!!!!!

Well I guess I am officially a triathlete. I finished the triathlon in just over four hours, which is what I expected, and I felt relatively good, had a fantastic time, and made some friends along the route and was surrounded by the most important people in my life.
The weekend started yesterday by testing out the not so 60 degree lake water. It was not as bad as I thought however my knee was not cooperating in the wet suit so I decided to cut the knee out even more. Thankfully that helped. After our practice we got to the hotels and got ready for our pasta party. It is that oh so fabulous time of carbo loading and doing it guilt free. Being Italian I have NEVER understood why anyone would cut this out of their diets, but I still like to indulge every now and then. Especially since I no longer get Nana's pasta on Sunday. Anyhoo the pasta party was inspirational as always, we got to meet our NH and RI teammates and coaches, and one of the members from RI spoke about how his two children were both diagnosed with Leukemia. He was expressing how important it is to continue our work, since the likelihood of his children having children who become infected with this is probable. When the dinner was almost done, our coordinator got back up to the podium and gave me a personal shout out. It was very touching and just made my weekend. I was thanked by the society for raising close to $50,000 in just four years. It was really nice to be recognized, and definately made me choke up a bit. Little do they know that my personal goal is $100,000. That would just make my life, and when I get there, I promise I will stop.
We had to leave the guys in the bar watching the Sox game and head to bed since we had to be up at 4:30. It is a good thing that I am an early riser.
We made it to Wellington Park at 6am, and it was already full so we had to trek about a mile with all our stuff to get to the start. There we were marked with permanent marker, and had to set up our transition area. You basically have to fit all your stuff on half of a small towel. There my dad and Apple met me and just after I wiggled into my suit, Brian showed up.
The start was very exciting, there were about 100 or more girls and we were jamming to Cyndi Lauper (why not Debbie Gibson????!?!) and soon we were swimming like little fishies. I ended up getting scolded by a kayaker on the far right of the course, despite starting way way left. So I was way off course so that took a bit of energy to get back on track, but it was my fault because I forgot to look up to see where I was. Any hoo that was fine and dandy til the damn cougars who started behind us started throwing elbows to get by me. I was getting pretty aggravated and decided to go back over to the side to let the super fast people go by. I finished the swim in 39 minutes, not too bad considering. Then it was out of the water and onto the stripping board where I was stripped of my wet suit by a high school kid. Pretty funny. There I threw on my bike stuff and took off running to the bike course and OH MY GOD!!!
People were not exaggerating when they were explaining the hilly course. It was almost comical. Despite that, I only had to dismount once because the hill was so steep that I started to go backwards, no joke. Then I dismounted another 4 times to pee, no shocker there. Had to go on the road once, and then asked the nice residents of NH if I could use their bathroom. Hey at least I offered up my place in Medford if they were ever in the area. Anyhoo I made it up some killer hills that I swore must have gone all the way up to Canada. I was pretty proud of myself when I finished that because I was super nervous about it. Off the bike I went and had to go running. Yes, HAD to go running. I really could have done without the run on account of my quads being so done with me and giving me a constant charlie horse, and then there was the pesky throwing up in my mouth about 10 or more times. I had to consume so many GU packs that it tore up my stomach, as well as the gatorade they were serving up. So I ran as much as I could but then when I ran into some nice girls we decided to walk and chat it up instead. I was fine with that. But eventually I just wanted to be done. Apple walked backwards on the route to find me so I saw her and then decided to step it up and run the rest of the way. I was not last. That is all I can say. Heather and Kim were there to cheer me on to the finish and I got my annual picture kissing my medal. It was a great day and I can't wait to do another one. For now though, I am going to help out the San Francisco and Dublin Marathon teams, for I know about 5 people doing it with the TEAM. I may or may not run the half out there with them in San Francisco, but I will not be fundraising, I would just do it for fun.
That is all for now. Once I get some rest tonight I will post my pictures from the race. Brian was a little photog with my digital so he got some good pics.
Time to eat the food!!!!
I cannot end this post without thanking all of my supporters. Each year I am dumbfounded by the generosity of others. It means so much for me to do this and honor my mothers life. It keeps me close to her and close to this cause. That is especially helpful, even more so during this time of year. So thank you for all your past support and for your future support. We'll see what my next journey will be!!!!!!!
Love to all,
Jody

Yowzers

Okay so I am just here watching my dog eat the only rug I bought for the house, and I don't even care. My stomach is in knots, and I cannot even think straight for packing my bags. Heather and I are taking off in a bit to drive up to NH. We are practicing in the lake when we get there, so that our bodies can get used to feeling semi hypothermic....seriously. Then its time for our pasta party with the team tonight. Looking forward to this being over. That is for sure. I am sure its mostly in my head, but my shoulder is on fire, my knee which has not really bothered me is hurting while I walk, my throat hurts and I think I might have TB from that guy that I have never come in contact with. Well maybe not but the more excuses I can use for coming in at the back of the pack tomorrow the better.
I am planning on coming back tomorrow after the victory party, and I will try to post as soon as possible to let you know how it went.
Above all I have raised $5000 dollars with all of your help! That is amazing that after four years I am still able to raise almost double the amount I am supposed to.
Wish me luck!

ONE WEEK TO GO

Two words come to mind, the first is Holy and the next i'd rather not say in case small children are reading this. It begins with sh and it ends with it. It was quite a week. My shoulder seemed to really act up and I was in spasms for about 3 days. That meant I had to take muscle relaxers which makes me a puddle until the next day around 2.

However this week I was also able to watch some of my kids at school participate in the Special Olympics. It was quite inspirational and very exciting for us and the kids. As I was taking pictures of the kids participating and then holding their medals with such pride, it put things into perspective for me. And no its not that I should be participating in the special olympics like I have heard some of you joke. Its that I am just a girl, trying to make a difference. It does not matter whether I have to walk up a hill, it does not matter if I have to walk a little in a race. What matters is that I am putting myself out there. Each year I do something that is difficult for me, and unnatural for my body. This is always the time where my body starts acting up and reminding me that I am really not supposed to do this. I do this so I can hopefully inspire just maybe one other person to take this on. Or to help someone going through what we went through to realize that your life does not end when your loved one does. You carry on, you grow, and you take the risk of doing things that you never would have because life is just too short.

Yesterday our team wiggled into our wet suits. I slit a hole in my knee so that it was more bearable. We went to Walden Pond, a place where I have gone many many times. And none of those times did I even contemplace swimming across it. We practiced getting kicked and people swimming over us. I definately peed in my wetsuit at least 8 times, so that was quite a thrill for me. Hey it keeps you warm. Once the team was done with our drills they went out for a bike ride. A few of us wanted to swim across and get over the feeling of "holy crap I cannot see the bottom" feeling. So, 5 of us took off, had that feeling, overcame the feeling and just kept swimming. It was quite fun and I am taking off on a nice bike ride today. Tomorrow a group of us are meeting back at the pond to do a swim and bike together.

As Memorial Day approaches we cannot help but think about all the loved ones who have left. Memorial Day was the last day I was able to talk to my mom. I was away and had to put the petal to the metal and drive home because I knew something was up. It is a decision I am so glad I made, because once I got to the hospital, I was told to say what I needed to say. I will never forget those words my mother spoke to us that day before her ventilator was placed. It was simple, and it was short. "I love you all, and please don't cry." I knew that would be the last time, and somehow it was easier to say what we needed to say and we did so for weeks. I never have to wonder if I said what I needed to say. I know it was said, and it was felt. And plus, it was the first time that my mother did not get the last word!!!!!

Happy Memorial Day to all. Summer is here!!!!!

Devil Hill...WHAT??!?!?

Okay so this week has been a bit crazy. Lots of things going on. Nana has to go into a nursing home and it has been suggested that she go to a dementia unit. We have family parties up the wazoo and Brian's friends coming next weekend with their three kids so we are going to attempt to make the place more user friendly this week. Anyhoo I was supposed to go up to NH with Heather and Kim this weekend and do the bike ride that we are doing in two weeks. Since the weather has sucked, I felt like crap, and felt way too stressed with the weekends festivities so I backed out. Anyhoo I heard from Heather, and she said she was moved to tears twice, Kim fell off her bike, and they had to clip out a few times because the hills were so steep. Sweet. I am officially worried.
I made it to practice this morning and oh wait a minute I must back track. We got our wet suits last weekend so I tried it on the other night. Well I had it on backwards, and felt like the guy in space balls when his ass was in his front. It was very awkward, but I must say that even when I put it on the correct way, it still felt awkward. I lathered on some body glide today before putting on the suit. Managed to pull it on, was told that "cameltoe" was a necessity, and that if you didn't have it you were not wearing it correctly. So I was definately wearing it correctly. Made it into the water, felt like I peed myself with the warm water rushing through the suit. Attempted to swim in it and could not even make it a lap. Since I have floating kneecaps, and long legs, where the bottom of the suit should be at your ankles, its just below my knees. So its super tight around the knees and forcing them in directions that is not natural. I felt alot of pain and could not swim with my legs. Obviously a problem that I need to fix in the next few weeks. I was told that I may need to cut holes in the knees or just cut it above the knee. Not sure what is going to happen since the water is still 50 degrees. Can you tell i'm stressing about all of this?!?! We have a open swim next Saturday at Walden Pond so that should be fun. I know this will all pan out, and that in the grand scheme of things it is not about the swim or the bike or the run, but about the feeling when I cross the finish, knowing that I have made a difference in something that has taken away so much from me. I will continue this battle as so many patients do each day. This battle with the suit is nothing. I will treck my sorry ass up "devil hill" and if I have to clip out of my pedals, so be it. I will finish, and I will be that much closer to my future goal of raising 100K for this cause.
I am looking forward to hearing if a few friends have signed up for the San Francisco marathon in October. They will be training with the TEAM, and if so, I am going to sign on to mentor and help out this summer. I think Belle would make a super cute water girl.
Much love to all and Happy Birthday to Heather and Dad!!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day

Well to all the moms out there Happy Mother's Day. I had to add a picture of my baby Belle! Can't figure out how to make it upright but you can still see how cute she is! It is a day to celebrate the wonderful women in our lives that we call Mom. I honored my mother by turning on some Michael Bolton as I drove home from Mohegan Sun. It is hard to experience this day without thinking about my last Mother's day with my mom. I remember it well because my brother and father were away for a race and I was home with my Mom caring for her. It was the first time that I got her to try Thai food, and she quite liked it. It was also the day that a young mom from Waltham died suddenly leaving four young children. I remember seeing my moms face when I told her, and how sad she felt "for those kids." Little did I know that a month from that day, I would lose my mother. This was also the Mother's day that my wonderful friends created a book for her in which they shared stories with her and just told her how special she was to all of them. It is still a book that I read often, and it meant so much to her and to me. This is a difficult time of year because you cannot help but think about difficult times that came for my mother that month. If I knew what we were in store for, I probably would have stayed home that night hanging out with my mom, but she knew that I was still just a 23 year old and she made sure that I was able to go out with my friends and have some fun. I cannot believe that it will soon be five years without having my mother here with us. It does not feel real, and in a way I hope that it never does. I do have a mother, she is wonderful, and funny and at times a real pain in the you know what, but she is my mother and will always be. So Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!

I was able to spend last night at a craps table with some girlfriends for Tiff's bachelorette party. We were lucky enough to start up at a table at the right time and a wonderful man which we will call "shooter" shot the dice for over an hour winning us rambunctous ladies quite a bit of money. We had a ball and I wish I could post more pictures, but there are only a few that Tiff would approve of. Have a great start of the week and I hope everyone was able to catch the Sox comeback against the Orioles today. Felt alot like 2004!!